"We have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime."
School is a real head-scratcher sometimes. There are subjects like math and science, but there isn't a class called 'Friends 101'. However, as much as I would love to have a course on the subject matter, I don't see UCF offering any credits for it come Fall. Which, in turn, leaves me and the 300 million others who live in this great country clueless as to what 'being a good friend' means. Friendship, much like love, becomes a process of trial and error. With an emphasis on the error.
Friends. You can't live with them and you can't live without them.
Well, you can live with them. They're called roommates. And as much as we would love to think that every single friend we ever made will always stay in our lives, they won't. You see, unlike siblings (which you are randomly assigned at birth), and relationships which typically involve some sort of commitment; friendships can end in an instant. Literally, one text and *poof*, they're gone. I mean, it could be something you did or didn't do, say or didn't say, but ultimately the end-result is still the same.
Sometimes it doesn't matter. You might have just made that friend at the bar. In which case, you could give a shit that they're out of your life. But sometimes, someone you've known for years will just up and leave. For reasons you don't understand. That someone you actually did give a shit about, is up and running around this Earth, not giving a shit about you. So naturally, you get mad. You opened up to that person, you told them things you don't tell everyone, you trusted them and now they've decided to leave? Just like that? As if they were in a fast food restaurant? Yes, they did; and it's sad to know that it will happen again.
This isn't for the friends who left. This is for the ones who stayed.
Last summer, I was going through the worst time in my young life. My grandmother, Teresa, had just died, my high school sweetheart and I had broken up, and I was in and out of handcuffs more than I'd ever imagine. That, mixed in with some other things, made life not exactly "peachy". But, I learned a lot about myself. Maybe more importantly, I learned about the people around me.
I knew that I didn't have much to offer. I was depressed. It was summer and all my friends from school went home. I felt like Harry Potter when classes weren't in session at Hogwarts. On top of it all, I was also back home, in Kissimmee. For those of you who don't know, Kissimmee isn't quite West Palm or Miami. It's filled with cows and the closest movie theatre (or any form of civilization for that matter) is about 20 minutes away (if you're lucky). Since there's not much to do, people do other things. Those things were what got me in handcuffs and made my life a hotter hell than it already was. But, I learned, there are still stars out when it's dark.
There were people who despite everything, stuck by me. Friends, who I now consider family. Family, who I now consider friends. I learned who was good for my life and who was toxic. I was growing up, I guess.
When I wasn't with friends or family, I was reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. It was something to get lost in when I just needed to get lost. Reading had been something I'd tried before but didn't do often. However, every chance I could I tried to read. It was almost as if the main character, Theo, was going through the same thing I was. Donna Tartt had a magical way of taking the feelings I didn't understand and putting them into words I did.
It wasn't just friends and family. I met some remarkable people during this time that helped me as well. One of them was right around the corner or the boulevard if you will. She was going through her own things. She was cold to the touch, tender to the heart. It was nice sharing my thoughts with someone. A lot of what she said helped me sleep easier at night. Hearing about the meaningless things that consisted her day gave me something to look forward to. More importantly, she listened to what I said. Not heard, she listened. Despite not knowing me for long, she cared, and sometimes that's all someone needs.
I know that I'm not the greatest friend in the world. I have a bad habit of quickly giving-up on people because of past friends who have quickly given-up on me. When I'm at school, it's hard for me to keep in contact with my friends from back home. Difficult to even keep in touch with my family for that matter. I have flaws and I'm working everyday to improve on them. I am trying to be great, not good, but great. And sometimes I get so wrapped in that idea, I lose sight of the most important people in my life. However, if you're reading this and are still my friend, I just want to say; thank you.
I love you so much for standing by me when I didn't have anyone. For sharing your umbrella when it was raining so hard. Inviting me over because you knew I was alone and sharing my pain when it wasn't yours to share. There isn't any column or article I could write that could sum up what you did for me but if there was ever a moment that you thought you don't mean the absolute world to me, you're wrong. If you ever needed anything like I did, I'd drop everything to try to repay what you did for me. You were one of the 'friends who stayed'.
Maybe it's a good thing that schools don't have a 'Friends 101' class. Maybe friendship, much like life is a feeling process. There are just some things we can't be taught, but come to understand.
Friends. You can't live with them and you can't live without them.
Well, you can live with them. They're called roommates. And as much as we would love to think that every single friend we ever made will always stay in our lives, they won't. You see, unlike siblings (which you are randomly assigned at birth), and relationships which typically involve some sort of commitment; friendships can end in an instant. Literally, one text and *poof*, they're gone. I mean, it could be something you did or didn't do, say or didn't say, but ultimately the end-result is still the same.
Sometimes it doesn't matter. You might have just made that friend at the bar. In which case, you could give a shit that they're out of your life. But sometimes, someone you've known for years will just up and leave. For reasons you don't understand. That someone you actually did give a shit about, is up and running around this Earth, not giving a shit about you. So naturally, you get mad. You opened up to that person, you told them things you don't tell everyone, you trusted them and now they've decided to leave? Just like that? As if they were in a fast food restaurant? Yes, they did; and it's sad to know that it will happen again.
This isn't for the friends who left. This is for the ones who stayed.
Last summer, I was going through the worst time in my young life. My grandmother, Teresa, had just died, my high school sweetheart and I had broken up, and I was in and out of handcuffs more than I'd ever imagine. That, mixed in with some other things, made life not exactly "peachy". But, I learned a lot about myself. Maybe more importantly, I learned about the people around me.
I knew that I didn't have much to offer. I was depressed. It was summer and all my friends from school went home. I felt like Harry Potter when classes weren't in session at Hogwarts. On top of it all, I was also back home, in Kissimmee. For those of you who don't know, Kissimmee isn't quite West Palm or Miami. It's filled with cows and the closest movie theatre (or any form of civilization for that matter) is about 20 minutes away (if you're lucky). Since there's not much to do, people do other things. Those things were what got me in handcuffs and made my life a hotter hell than it already was. But, I learned, there are still stars out when it's dark.
There were people who despite everything, stuck by me. Friends, who I now consider family. Family, who I now consider friends. I learned who was good for my life and who was toxic. I was growing up, I guess.
When I wasn't with friends or family, I was reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. It was something to get lost in when I just needed to get lost. Reading had been something I'd tried before but didn't do often. However, every chance I could I tried to read. It was almost as if the main character, Theo, was going through the same thing I was. Donna Tartt had a magical way of taking the feelings I didn't understand and putting them into words I did.
It wasn't just friends and family. I met some remarkable people during this time that helped me as well. One of them was right around the corner or the boulevard if you will. She was going through her own things. She was cold to the touch, tender to the heart. It was nice sharing my thoughts with someone. A lot of what she said helped me sleep easier at night. Hearing about the meaningless things that consisted her day gave me something to look forward to. More importantly, she listened to what I said. Not heard, she listened. Despite not knowing me for long, she cared, and sometimes that's all someone needs.
I know that I'm not the greatest friend in the world. I have a bad habit of quickly giving-up on people because of past friends who have quickly given-up on me. When I'm at school, it's hard for me to keep in contact with my friends from back home. Difficult to even keep in touch with my family for that matter. I have flaws and I'm working everyday to improve on them. I am trying to be great, not good, but great. And sometimes I get so wrapped in that idea, I lose sight of the most important people in my life. However, if you're reading this and are still my friend, I just want to say; thank you.
I love you so much for standing by me when I didn't have anyone. For sharing your umbrella when it was raining so hard. Inviting me over because you knew I was alone and sharing my pain when it wasn't yours to share. There isn't any column or article I could write that could sum up what you did for me but if there was ever a moment that you thought you don't mean the absolute world to me, you're wrong. If you ever needed anything like I did, I'd drop everything to try to repay what you did for me. You were one of the 'friends who stayed'.
Maybe it's a good thing that schools don't have a 'Friends 101' class. Maybe friendship, much like life is a feeling process. There are just some things we can't be taught, but come to understand.